Tuts My Barreh: Karaoke is Awesome
This post is all about one video. A short three and a half-minute video. Without further ado, I present to you: “Tuts My Barreh”
Through unverified sources, I’ve found that the person in question is Dong-won Kim, an upcoming Korean artist. He sung Mariah Carey’s song “Touch My Body” with such passion that even the video above can’t describe it.
Some quotes from the subtitles and their corresponding (actual) lyrics:
“Tuts my barreh, Throw me on the bay” –> “Touch my body, Throw me on the bed”
If you throw me on the bay, I will throw you off the cliff!
“If there’s a camel up a hill” –> “If there’s a camera up in here”
I have full sympathies for the lone camel up the hill. He has to tuts his barreh, after all.
“I will hunt chu damn” –> obvious eh?
The finger-pointing and body-shaking just freaked me out. Please. Stop. Also, it doesn’t go with the tough-police-style-questioning tone.
“Cos baby I’m up in my beegees like a windy interview” –> “Cause they be all up in my bidness like a Wendy interview”
Yup. There’s a new idiom in the English language – ‘To be up in my Beegees’ – meaning that someone strangled your throat so hard that you now squeak like that forever.
“Come on give me a water dessert” –> “Come on and give me what I deserve”
How about Paani Jamuns? Or Blueberry watercake? Or Or Aqua Tiramisu? I suggest you give it to the camel up the hill who you’ve tortured for so long.
“I want you to caress me like a tropical priest” –> “I want you to caress me like a tropic breeze”
I’ve heard of new-age religion but this is just wrong. You remind me of some Godmen who’ve misused their position. You’re giving it a positive spin. Die!
“I will give you plankton” –> “I will give you plenty”
I will take your plankton and conduct cutting-edge biotech research and come up with conclusive answers on why you’re so messed up.
Thank You, Sir
After all this, I must thank you Dong-won Kim, for the awesome joy that you have brought to my life today.
Just don’t tuts my barreh.