The PhoneTalk Procrastination
It was a dark and stormy night *. The window blinds jerked open as a gust of wind fought with the heavy cement walls of an old apartment. Four friends sat in that house; it was a bit too big for them. The house originally had two bedrooms, but the previous owners converted one of the balconies into another tin-shed room. More rent for a three-bedroom house, you see.
Did I mention that all four were bachelors? A useless lot, really. They sat in different corners of the house, with four different laptops and four different movies running simultaneously. The dining table, left by previous tenants, was used as space for empty bottles, sometimes providing enough space for two keys and a wallet. Sometimes. The kitchen had no space left. Dirty dishes sprawled over the entire counter, over which empty Maggi packets added a ‘blanket cover’. Needless to say, this was a typical bachelor pad.
Ronesh** got up from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and scratched his head. He finally decided. He was going to buy a new mobile phone.
The Search Started
For once, Ronesh decided to buy an expensive phone. He’s had a long and winding journey with a multitude of mobile phones, and they changed not because he wanted to. His first cellphone came in college, a small sturdy Nokia phone. Surprisingly, it could do more than just play ‘Snakes’. But soon we realized that Ronesh wasn’t any snake charmer, and lost this phone in no time.
A replacement came. Still a Nokia phone, but this time with an outer shiny rim. You know, the glow-in-the-dark types? I’m sure his parents hoped that he won’t lose this one. It was more valuable, and even had a colour screen. It’s fast processor changed the same screen every five minutes and treated any keypress with a wonderful sense of disdain.
If I remember correctly, that one ‘slipped’ out of his hands.
For the next five years, the story continued in a similar way. Some phones tried to find, and eventually found, a hole in his pyjama pocket. Others found it worthwhile to commit suicide by jumping off a moving train. There was a cheeky one that found a seat in a movie hall a much more comfortable fit than Ronesh’s tight blue jeans.
All this flashed in Ronesh’s mind as he decided to buy a new phone. The first one he’ll buy without any compulsion.
But It’s Not Easy
A man, no, a bachelor should never have this luxury. There are many phones to choose from. There are many more phones to choose from if he decides to save money. There are many phones launching in the next few months. There are many more phones available now that are even better.
So Ronesh starts his meticulous research. He visits every nearby mobile shop, scans every phone website. He fights the Android vs. iPhone debate, and keeps himself up-to-date with all mobile news. Latest mobile deal? He knows it. Recent Blackberry issue? He’s on top of it. He even spreads the word with #PhoneTalk tags on Twitter.
Alas, he can’t finalize on one.
There is No Hope
Poor Ronesh, really. Five months have gone by, swiftly, without noise. Yet no phone has materialized. Neither has the research stopped. His budget is now twice of what he originally started off with.
If a phone is perfect for four features, it doesn’t have the fifth – and last – feature. Or if the perfect phone does exist, a better one is coming out in two months time. Or it doesn’t make sense for its price.
Ronesh procrastinated, like any other bachelor.
Is there no phone that can blow his mind away?
* – Voted the worst starting line to any novel. Snoopy, from the cartoon strip Peanuts, started his book with this line. He always gave up.
** – Name changed to make it seem uncannily real.
Post Script: Another chapter on my protagonist Ronesh coming soon – “Ronesh decides to buy a vehicle”.
Post Post Script: Ronesh neither tweets with the #PhoneTalk tag, nor has he delayed his decision to buy a certain phone, again.