Who is this Local Tea Party?

You know Local Tea Party?

The epitome of awesomeness, the ultimate in shallowness and best eye-opener of the pathetic English spoken by many Indians today. A newbie blog that is nothing amateurish: well-set layout, sarcastic approach to writing and negative comments and possibly the best cloak of anonymity by any blogger ever!

That’s what pisses me off: the author is anonymous!

Really? After managing a superb start, coming out with a master-blaster post (’Leave the vegetarians alone I say’), and raking in a horde of rediff-type trollish comments, how can this individual pass off as anonymous? We need a name, we need a face, we need a city to pass off judgements about the author. How can I read all those sarcastic posts without stereotyping the author?

Let’s Find That Bugger, I Say!

So I set off on a character-hunting expedition. My sources of information were good enough: a blog with a plethora of comments and, more importantly, random ranting on a Twitter stream. Localparty must (and can) be unveiled!

(At this point your stereotype is more than welcome to kick-in: I’m male, so I must be hoping that the author is female).
(P.S.: You’re right).

It turns out that I was not the only one. (Even females wanted to unveil localparty).

Some just took the opportunity of localparty’s anonymity to create their dream-come-true-author:

Eh? John Stamos who?

For reference, I’ve put his picture on the left.

It turns out that he was Jesse in the TV serial ‘Full House’ (Remember the ‘How Ruuuuddee’ ?). I couldn’t imagine that this – umm– individual could become a heart-throb in any way.

His IMDB profile highlights his non-exciting career after his 8-year stint at ‘Full House’. He played drums in a band and “expanded his career” by acting in a few Broadway productions. And directing something.

The only closest thing he did to becoming a heart-throb was to marry Rebecca Romijn. Dude. She’s hot.

(Judy Balan, the commenter above, even wrote a blog post about local party and John Stamos and Ice Queens and Dragon Queens. Yea.)

Okay First: Male or Female?

Good question. As you know, my search was driven by not knowing the answer to this question.

Mrpinkpoppin went beyond just the words of localparty’s blog posts and deduced the feminine touch:

Shruti did not agree. She even added that if so many girls are commenting, it must be a guy and it must be a guy whose consumed with all the attention that he’s been deprived of for so many years.

Stereotypes, dude. I’m not saying it’s wrong. No sir, I stereotype you back!

So What? Male or Female?

Relax, relax. We have conclusive proof in localparty’s tweet below:

http://twitter.com/#!/localteaparty/status/63497602938839040

MALE!

North India or South India?

Before we get to the next stage of building a clearer picture of Mr. localparty, let me confess that I should have stopped at this point. Localparty is a guy and there’s nothing / not much that can change that. The end.

But… What if I could find out just one more detail, his location, I could then group him as Punjabi or Madrasi. (There exists no other Indian). That’ll help me so much!

It seems that I was not the only one in this search:

I just left the expert analysis in linguistics to someone else and got my result abhi abhi. Plus, localparty went on to complain about Chennai autos and you know you’re bang on:

http://twitter.com/#!/localteaparty/status/62813271002054656

localparty = Male from Chennai.

So What Does Localparty Do?

Hey! Don’t look at me like that. You’re a voyeur too. Yes, you’ve mindlessly clicked random pictures that appear magically on the right of the Facebook page. “1 Mutual Friend.” You don’t get to judge me.

Okay, how about a truce of sorts? Let’s collectively judge him! That localparty character! Is he a frustrated teenager hitting on every girl in school? Or a death-metal fan studying automobile engineering in (yet another) Chennai-based engineering college? Or maybe an unemployed chap lounging at home in his checked boxers.

Hint 1:

http://twitter.com/#!/localteaparty/status/62814985436397568

Office cubicles? Oh god, that’s even worse! He’s a corporate drone!

http://twitter.com/#!/localteaparty/status/60710105636806656

There! That explains it. Chennai guy sitting in an office cubicle sending meeting invites to everyone. There’s boredom, frustration and all the stars aligned for a steady stream of sarcastic crack-pot blog posts like the ones we’ve seen!

And What About His Engliss?

I must say that this guy has built upon how many Indians talk. You want proof? Open any Rediff page (here’s an example) and see the wonderful Engliss for all to see:

SONIA MADAM-WHY WE SHOULD NOT DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO FIGHT AGAINST CORRUPTION?

This guy has even managed to start a revolution of sorts. I loved this post by another blogger (Chutney Case) written in well-formed Engliss:

Everybody is buying big big camera and saying I am photo grapher I am photo grapher and taking pictures of cow, street lamp, dog and all.

Read More: http://www.chutneycase.com/2011/04/angst.html

So, Who IS This Localparty?

I think I uncovered the biggest prize. Without any further time-wasting, a comment from Sunila:

Mr. Shah from Chennai, get out of that corporate job and write this blog full-time!