Skip to content

Why Did YOU Protest for Anna Hazare?

28th August, 2011

You. Yes, you, middle-class Indian. Why did you go out and protest for Anna Hazare? Don’t you have work to do? Or kittens to feed? What about that broken tap in the kitchen? It’s not going to fix itself, I can tell you that. What happened to Prince Useless of South Bangalore? The one who slouched in front of the TV and snored in front of the computer!

You wasted the whole Sunday for a measly inconsequential protest? Are you insane?

Anna Hazare Protest in Bangalore

Abe Teri To!

Hold it. Hold it, I say! Before you along with your mob fury come and throw me off my pedestal (or bed, as it currently is), please, lend me your ears. I’m quite perplexed at the allegedly massive outpouring of support for Anna Hazare and his showdown with all things corruption. At the risk of generalizing a very diverse nation, it’s not very Indian of us to dirty our feet. Especially when we have to give up our Sundays watching India lose in test cricket.

I Just Don’t Get It

Still. I’m not sure why you went to protest. What drove you down that path that has never been crossed before? Fear not, I shall unravel such things. Do note that this has nothing to do with Anna Hazare. I mentioned his name in the title and article body for search engine optimization.

Anyways, after an extensive survey amongst a sample set extrapolated to represent the youth of India, I spent a few days analyzing the responses to decipher some common reasons in a typical news-TV-kind-of-way (that is, without reasoning or logic). First up:

1. Apparent Leap in Facebook Reputation – 26%

Probably you were a scruffy little kid in school who used to wear shorts that look like hot pants nowadays. College happened and you got yourself Fabindia kurtis, a French beard and a copywriter job in Mumbai. You’re as cool as Farhan Akhtar in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara now. But how do you tell your school friends you’ve leapfrogged yourself in the social strata?

Facebook!

The brilliance of Facebook is that you can re-invent your avatar with pseudo-intellectual talk, party photographs in Mumbai (nobody can match those) and random posts on your wall from girls screaming “Whhhheeeeerrrrreeeee are you?”

Throw in status updates and photographs of you protesting in Freedom park or in a candle-light agitation and you become such a sensitive man. You’re the Gillette man [1].

Blaady you don’t think we can’t see through that sham?

2. A Chance To Talk to the Ladies – 48%

Most great things (at least the ones done by men) were done to impress girls. Charles Darwin (of the Origin of Species fame) tried hard to prove to his childhood sweetheart that he can create a legend [2]. Vishal Sandhu (of no fame) has tried everything to get a chance to talk to girls.

48% percent of our respondents thought that protests against corruption would be a good way to start chatting with girls. If nobody is willing to talk to them at least the volunteers have to!

(Note: 48% of our respondents were male.)

However, there is a small problem. Let me explain. If you thought volunteering at protests was a nice way to start chatting with girls, you probably were volunteering at infodesks at college fests as well. You were not really good at anything else and decided this method had the best Return-On-Investment.

Except that it backfired. First, most girls go and talk directly to the girls sitting on the infodesk. (To avoid people like you). Second, even if they do manage to talk to you, it’s in moments of desperation, like:

“Hi! Where is the ladies room?”

Ay what ra! You know you have no hope!

annahazare newsx3. Last Chance to Come on TV – 14%

With a pocket comb secure in his back pocket, perfectly oiled hair and double-cuff shirts folded at the cuffs for fun, this man walks into a protest.

Luckily for him, his objectives are clear: walk up to the NewsX reporter and ask for an interview. Other channels interview only celebrities, apparently because they know better. When he does get an interview, his maa-baba will be very proud at home.

I know you were thinking of doing the same.

Frankly, it doesn’t even matter what you say. This student from the screen-grab above said:

“The government make bullock of all countrymen. So you have to show them who are not bullocks. Let the bullock get his horn on the .. people .. there will be no safe no sitting. So you have to support for them.”

The bullocks are indeed upset that they have been brought into this protest.

4. To Really Make a Difference

You went to the protest to actually make a defining difference in the history of India?

HAHAHAHAHAHA! *falling-flat-on-the-floor-grabbing-stomach-in-agony-and-laughing-louder-than-a-jet-plane*

You stupid idiot.


Post Script

Sadly, you were just another headcount in Team Anna’s successful power-play with the government. You were just used as a bargaining item. Politicians do the same, but at least they give you biryani for it.

Having said that, I’m proud of what has transpired after all the noise. Expect a whole bunch of weeds to be removed from our garden!

[1] There is nothing called the Gillette man. Ha! I got you.

[2] Don’t expect me to verify such things. Especially when I made it up.

Advertisements
29 Comments leave one →
  1. 28th August, 2011 12:48 PM

    Haha… You went! I just know you did!

    And, you may as well have directed Vishal and given him free publicity for the coolest job thing.. 😛

    • 28th August, 2011 6:15 PM

      Acha, but the bigger question is: did YOU protest?

      Also, Vishal is a smart and capable man, I’m sure this publicity does nothing for him.

  2. 28th August, 2011 2:11 PM

    Hahaha…….
    Who is Vishal Sandhu by the way?

    • 28th August, 2011 6:16 PM

      A college junior that I’m not particularly fond of. Hehe!

  3. Sid permalink
    28th August, 2011 3:04 PM

    So very right Mr. Sahay!! So very right!!

    • 28th August, 2011 6:16 PM

      (I’m beginning to think you went to a protest!)

  4. 28th August, 2011 11:00 PM

    anna may have proved a point and so did all the protestors but if they are still going to bribe and stay corrupt, then we got a problem that gillette man can not solve either 😛 and who said he does not exist?

    • 28th August, 2011 11:26 PM

      Ah yes: solve the problem at it’s roots!

      Incidentally, I really don’t think there’s a Gillette man! There’s a Malboro Man, Old Spice Man, but no Gillette man! (Or is there?)

  5. 28th August, 2011 11:09 PM

    Hey bro, this is Aditya Iyengar (from the “Cut” thingie…). Nicely written, dug the line ” I mentioned his name in the title and article body for search engine optimization”..Ha ha! But maybe you need to cut people some slack. I’m sure many people didn’t know crap about jan lokpal and just showed up because of the aforementioned reasons (although I have serious reservations about your %ages and alleged sample set :)). But, I believe, a good number took to the streets because of sheer angst against corruption. They aren’t really supporting Hazare and co.; they aren’t sure what impact, if any, the protests will make. But this has given them an outlet. As for Team Anna, while they are being way too presumptious in claiming to represent “Civil Society”, they are the ones who took the initiative. And they are acting with good intentions, however misguided they may be.

    • 28th August, 2011 11:28 PM

      Namaskara namaskara Aditya ji!

      Thanks for dropping by! Yup, I agree that these protests have been a manifestation of a “outlet” as you said. However, I’m a little perplexed that we got out of inaction and did something more than slouch all day. Quite surprised that that happened!

  6. 1st September, 2011 8:03 PM

    Is this why you didn’t participate? But it was one golden chance to show off your Orange Fab India kurta and shout ..Inqualab Zindabad! Why you could even have coined a few smart-ass slogans!

    Damn, you missed the train, yet again!

    • 2nd September, 2011 3:29 PM

      😦

      You see, when you miss the train, you theorize on how to make it socially acceptable that you missed the train! Hence this post 😛

      Anyways, how did you know I have the orange FabIndia kurta? (I guess I’m too predictable).

  7. 13th September, 2011 11:56 PM

    Awesome boyo!! I love your lines about facebook.. For a moment I was happy that people came out for something that was not a cricket victory; alas: you have brilliantly highlighted the real reasons..

    • 14th September, 2011 4:31 PM

      Haha! It’s quite pissing off actually. We need to protest against all these armchair activists!

  8. 19th September, 2011 9:10 PM

    You are hilarious…just love the way you write. 🙂

    • 21st September, 2011 7:50 PM

      Ahem. Too much too much! Thanks for dropping by, thoughtcatcher!

  9. 10th October, 2011 4:54 AM

    Great analysis 😀

    • 10th October, 2011 10:07 AM

      So you think I can give NewsX a run for their money? 😀

      Thanks for dropping by, Grist Mill ji!

  10. 28th October, 2011 10:29 AM

    You got to be kidding me ! bigger question is, did u support?. You are talking abt some sunday that i wasted by going on streets wavering tiranga shouting slogans, what did u achieve bt not doing that ? rather, you preferred to write this crap article aYou got to be kidding me ! bigger question is, did u support?. You are talking abt some sunday that i wasted by going on streets wavering tiranga shouting slogans, what did u achieve bt not doing that ? rather, you preferred to write this crap article and expected to seek some public attention by raising some crappiest points that could ever be raised. Lol, you tried to sound funny here but sadly for you, your sense of humor sucked to the core.
    Your article successfully achieves what other articles fail to, that is to mock itself ! haha, ohh boy, so finally some achievement for you ?

    So these are some of the points raised by you ! lol ! lemme take a dig at them ! :p

    1) I Just Don’t Get It
    don’t worry, you will never get it if you chose to remain the way you are ! so stop crying about it and try to get over it.

    2)Apparent Leap in Facebook Reputation – 26%
    You could have taken it in a positive way as well but the way your mind works, its something hard to expect like looking for ice cream parlour in a desert ! still lemme do the invincible task, Facebook has been the major source that forced youths to drive out from their homes and do what was the need of the hour at that time. Imagine yourself visiting your frds profile and seeing those pics of him in that movement, offcourse it would also ignite a fire inside you that why aren’t you der, why are you just sitting here. Why don’t be a part of the action when you can be?

    3)Last Chance to Come on TV – 14%
    Seriously? In this age of stupid shows like emotional attayachar, axe ur ex etc etc on which with little of the efforts, you can easily get to share a screen space and can cause turmoil, you are saying that this movement was supported by youths as they seeked it as a chance to be on a TV ? wtf? lol ? As i said, you need to upgrade your standard of sounding funny but gosh, this is something which seems out of your domain! :d

    4)To Really Make a Difference
    Those who have been a part of this movement knows the difference it has caused. For the first time in my life, this movement made me to realise that people can be united irrespective of the religion they belong to, caste they belong to, class they belong to. Materialistically, we may have not achieved any thing but psychologically, we managed to create a doubt that is good enough to stir up the politics of this nation !
    You know what, we chose to take the leap of faith in this movement rather than going with the depths and dirts of existing !

    and hey, you keep sleeping ! time will come when someone like me will have to kick ur ass to wake you up ! =))nd expected to seek some public attention by raising some crappiest points that could ever be raised. Lol, you tried to sound funny here but sadly for you, your sense of humor sucked to the core.
    Your article successfully achieves what other articles fail to, that is to mock itself ! haha, ohh boy, so finally some achievement for you ?

  11. 28th October, 2011 10:35 AM

    [some errors crept in my previous post, refer to this one ! ]

    You got to be kidding me ! bigger question is, did u support?. You are talking abt some sunday that i wasted by going on streets wavering tiranga shouting slogans, what did u achieve bt not doing that ? rather, you preferred to write this crap article and expected to seek some public attention by raising some crappiest points that could ever be raised. Lol, you tried to sound funny here but sadly for you, your sense of humor sucked to the core.
    Your article successfully achieves what other articles fail to, that is to mock itself ! haha, ohh boy, so finally some achievement for you ?

    So these are some of the points raised by you ! lol ! lemme take a dig at them ! :p

    I Just Don’t Get It
    don’t worry, you will never get it if you chose to remain the way you are ! so stop crying about it and try to get over it.

    1)Apparent Leap in Facebook Reputation – 26%
    You could have taken it in a positive way as well but the way your mind works, its something hard to expect like looking for ice cream parlour in a desert ! still lemme do the invincible task, Facebook has been the major source that forced youths to drive out from their homes and do what was the need of the hour at that time. Imagine yourself visiting your frds profile and seeing those pics of him in that movement, offcourse it would also ignite a fire inside you that why aren’t you der, why are you just sitting here. Why don’t be a part of the action when you can be?

    2)A Chance To Talk to the Ladies
    You appear to me like some one who’s been continuously deprived off female attention ever since you were able to distinguish between female and male. Don’t lie to me, ain’t this the case?

    3)Last Chance to Come on TV – 14%
    Seriously? In this age of stupid shows like emotional attayachar, axe ur ex etc etc on which with little of the efforts, you can easily get to share a screen space and can cause turmoil, you are saying that this movement was supported by youths as they seeked it as a chance to be on a TV ? wtf? lol ? As i said, you need to upgrade your standard of sounding funny but gosh, this is something which seems out of your domain! :d

    4)To Really Make a Difference
    Those who have been a part of this movement knows the difference it has caused. For the first time in my life, this movement made me to realise that people can be united irrespective of the religion they belong to, caste they belong to, class they belong to. Materialistically, we may have not achieved any thing but psychologically, we managed to create a doubt that is good enough to stir up the politics of this nation !
    You know what, we chose to take the leap of faith in this movement rather than going with the depths and dirts of existing !

    and hey, you keep sleeping ! time will come when someone like me will have to kick ur ass to wake you up ! =))

    • 28th October, 2011 2:13 PM

      No worries, shall consider this one.

      Thanks for dropping by, Utsav. I guess you really didn’t like my sense of humour (or lack of). No worries. Even I don’t.

      If you’re doing good stuff, good stuff for the country and the people and little children in Africa, then good for you.

      But – personally – I think it’s rude to rub off your good deeds in other people’s faces. You do what you do for yourself, not for social acceptance.

      That entirely prompted me to write what I wrote.

      Hope you’re cool with that!

  12. 29th October, 2011 4:34 AM

    Nobody is imposing anything on anyone dude. Thing is, ppl are frustrated with the current system, they need a medium to express their anger or vent their frustration out. This movement gave them the chance to express themselves.
    I never went there coz my neighour was having some problem, i went there coz I myself had a problem with this system. So in a way, I did it for myself and everybody was doing it for their self only, but since the purpose was one, everybody seemed united and this was the beauty of this movement in case you failed to notice.

  13. Giggity Giggity permalink
    2nd November, 2011 12:00 PM

    “If you’re doing good stuff, good stuff for the country and the people and little children in Africa, then good for you” Absolutely barilllliant Mr. Sahay

    “You do what you do for yourself, not for social acceptance” – Fabulous 🙂

    Utsav, you’re not getting it!! You didn’t understand the Post, you didn’t understand Kartikay’s reply as well. You probably are too frustrated with the system..Why don’t you find some more mediums to express or VENT your anger and be the poster boy for todays YOUTHS(!)?

  14. 3rd November, 2011 1:58 PM

    @ giggity : probably you too didn’t get what i said ! my reply to it was for whole post, it was obviously not limited to some lines.
    and its good you’re not frustrated..woww…watta patience ! appreciate it ! and hey, why don’t you go to and chose some other mediums to express your humor and become a poster boy for kids by appearing on cartoon network ! what say ?

    • Giggity Giggity permalink
      8th November, 2011 1:24 PM

      @Utsav: “probably you too didn’t get what i said”
      Do you seriously think that your comment was very original and complicated so that people have to rack their brains to understand it?!?!
      “and its good you’re not frustrated..woww…watta patience ! appreciate it”
      Pity. Where’s the venom that was so evident in your first comment to this post?! Probably sarcasm is not your forte 😦
      “why don’t you go to and chose some other mediums to express your humor and become a poster boy for kids by appearing on cartoon network ! what say?”
      At least I don’t wander around preaching stuff in inappropriate places. You should probably stick to following blogs by propaganda pricks of NDTV. There my boy, you will definitely have an audience/ people who sympathize with you. Not here.

    • 10th November, 2011 2:54 PM

      Hey hey .. peace .. let there be peace!

  15. 4th November, 2011 8:02 PM

    Anna who is fighting against corruption in public eyes is an inventor of a big political game through which he had kept unjustified demands which went unquestioned by public.

    He demanded in the Lokpal bill that the officials who will be responsible for handing corruption cases should be given police rights so that they can arrest any one and at any time.

    Only if one can imagine what it could lead to, if Government agreed to this, people sitting peacefully at home, with no dirt on their hands, can suddenly be caught for no reason and will be put in jail by Anna (in case he doesn’t like You ). The period given for the verdict resolution is only 2 years which is definitely not enough for an innocent to free himself of guilty before court in India.

    So if one has given even a 100 rupee note in bribe by mistake, get ready for an imprisonment of 10 years. Yes, the minimum is 10 years. Your whole life will turn into a black hole.

    I am not saying this will happen but by agreeing to his demands, Government will pass him enough rights to so this to any one in the country. So what you need to do if this happens? Well, speak out………”HAIL ANNA!”

    …And sleep peacefully

    Right to speech, yes it is a part of our constitution but when Arundati Roy spoke against Anna, public responded with something unexpected “She is a bitch, she should be raped!”

    What a response! Of course they also have the right to speak but are they not aware that under our constitution, we are not allowed to insult anyone in public? We are not supposed to use abusive language?

    Some of you reading this may be thinking that I am against Anna, may be I am favouring some political party but I have already made it clear that I was apolitical but as a human I have views, I support right and hate wrong doings.

    Now looking at the Government, never ending of corruption, more than 30% of them above 70 years of age, can we expect any change?

    Once there used to be king rule where one family ruled over the entire regime and the crown was passed on to their successors. Now we say that we have a democratic government chosen by people but is it really that way?

    Look at our political structure:

    Congress…began with Nehru Gandhi…followed by Indira then Rajeev than Sonia than Rahul………and it will go on forever , and we all know this is not the only family.

    The same genes, the same values are carried by their children and their children taken from their corrupt ancestors, how can we expect any change in Indian regulation?

    The only solution is to break this trend, to not have the same family keep ruling. Any politician who have been a minister or MLA should not be followed by his or her children, only new people with different belief system, different background should follow the regime. This is the only way out.

    • 10th November, 2011 3:02 PM

      Have you heard of an alternate theory about corruption? That corruption happens entirely due to circumstance and is independent of the “moral structure” of a person. There’s even an equation for it:

      C = M + D – A

      Basically, if the circumstances are right, anybody and everybody will become corrupt.

      (PDF link: http://www.icgg.org/downloads/contribution02_klitgaard.pdf)

      The best part is that it’s easy to curb corruption. Ensure that those circumstances don’t happen together!

      Rather than focusing on a few politicians, as you suggest, I think it’s better to tackle the surrounding systems that will prevent people to get away!

  16. Utsav Garg permalink
    7th February, 2012 8:34 PM

    @ giggity giggity .. it would be much better if u learn to apply ur advices on urself first! stop blabbering and spare us ! .. and u seem to assume so much …. keep ur private fantasies to urself ..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: